Usually on New Year’s Eve I find myself hanging out with people from my church. This is mainly out of guilt…and my complete lack of friends outside of the church. So throughout the years of attending church New Year ’s Eve parties I have discovered that there are some games you shouldn’t play. Here are the top ten:
10. Twister. The fact is there just isn’t enough room on a Twister mat for very many Baptists. And trust me, you don’t want a pic of your face at the rear of the Chairman of Deacons floating around on Facebook.
9. Truth or Dare. This just can’t go well. Especially if you are a pastor. If you pick “truth” they may be like “Do you have any resumes out?” If you choose “dare” the youth guy will have you shaving your eye brows.
8. Quarters. That’s the old drinking game. You feel a glass with beer. If you ring it you make someone else drink it, if you miss you have to drink it. Your pastor just isn’t going to feel comfortable with this going on. And in about thirty minutes someone is going to really loosen up & start saying things they have wanted to say for a long time. It won’t be edifying either.
7. The choking game. This is the one the kids play. They choke each other until they pass out. It’s supposed to give some kind of a high. Now granted, there are some people at the party I know you would like to choke. But please don’t play this game. It’s really dangerous.
6. 5 Card Draw. In my experience those who lose take it out of their tithe and the ones that win don’t consider the money income, so they don’t tithe off of it. So it’s best if everyone’s money stays in their own pocket.
5. Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. In this game folks lift a person with their fingers while they chant “Light as a feather stiff as a board.” I can speak for Baptists, none of us are light as a feather. But a lot of us are stiff as a board.
4. Ouija Board. Don’t think that some of your church members don’t have a Ouija board laying around. When things get boring someone is likely to bring it out, “just for fun.” Halfway through the game you may get a knock on the door and find Elijah ready to call down fire from heaven. You have been warned.
3. Chicken. This is the game where two cars race toward one another until one chickens out and turns away. This game is actually played at many churches on Sunday mornings between the two services. But it’s not a good idea to play it at the party. Especially if you have any rednecks with over-sized tires on their trucks.
2. Seven Minutes in Heaven. You know, the game where you are locked in a dark room with another person for seven minutes. I mean, what if you and the worship leader have to go in there? Could you imagine the rumors?
1. Spin the Bottle. Just not a good idea. Ever. My daughter asked about this game the other day and my wife said, I quote, “You are never allowed to play spin the bottle…unless you’re married.” She’s right. This game is reserved for two players who are married to one another.
I hope you all have a happy new year. Be safe. Be wise. And if possible, just stay home.