Ladies, Was I Wrong?

1 Jun

Sometimes when you are a pastor you do things just because you are a pastor. That happened to me today. It was  a 70th wedding anniversary celebration. Now I don’t really know the happy couple, but I have met them. They have family members at the church I pastor. I was asked to go and decided it would be a good idea.

I entered the celebration with my lovely wife. She was all smiles. She is pretty amazing at things like this. She has a way with people that I don’t possess. Seated at the entrance was the bride of 70 years. We greeted her. Her husband had stepped away to get something to drink. We signed the guest book and made our way through the crowd. I am uncomfortable at these affairs. I only knew a few people. I just kind of follow my wife’s lead. After all, she’s the pro. So we floated from group to group making small talk. My wife finally found a branch she was comfortable sitting on for a while. A couple from our church that she enjoys talking to was there. So she camped out with them.

I have serious concentration issues. I spied a local pastor sitting at a table with one other person. I decided that would be a great place for me. I located some thin layer chocolate cake, punch and other goodies. I loaded up and joined my friend. After a good conversation and some finger foods I decided to find my wife again. It wasn’t hard. She was standing in the same place with the same folks. She also happened to be near the cake. There were a few different types of cake. I began to think about all of them. About that time my wife decided she would get her a plate.

I was pretty full. But I began thinking about how good all those deserts must be. I couldn’t eat anymore at that point. But I knew that tonight would be altogether different. I would gain my appetite back. So I began to reason with myself. I thought it would be a good idea to make a sampler plate. You know, get a taste of all the deserts.  Before I knew it I was stacking up deserts. In fact I stacked up three plates. I figured we were about to leave when I finished stacking my plates. In my mind I could see myself just easing out the door with my delicacies.

I met back up with my wife. She looked at my three plates and then looked at me. It wasn’t a good look. She asked why I had three plates. I explained it to her. She wasn’t impressed. And she wasn’t ready to go either. So for the next twenty minutes I walked around with her and my three plates. Amazing how people don’t make eye contact with you when you are holding three plates of desserts. Finally she was ready to go…and I definitely was.

At the door was the happy couple. That’s when I realized my plan wasn’t so great. I hadn’t spoken with the groom yet. I boldly approached the door. He recognized me and began to speak. Then he looked at my plates. And he just stared. I think he must have stared for five minutes. I broke the silence with something about him running off before I could speak to him. My poor wife just stood there horrified. As we exited the buildings there were folks lining the hallway. Each of them took a peak at my “to go” plates.



It was a pretty long ride home. My wife gave me some major lessons in etiquette. In her words “If you don’t see any aluminum foil you probably shouldn’t take a to-go plate”.  I understand her point. She explained that regardless of what I thought, people did notice what I was doing. She used the phrase “I can’t believe” about 65 times I think. I will consider her advice. But ladies, what do you think? Was I wrong?


4 Responses to “Ladies, Was I Wrong?”

  1. Sandra Oden June 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm #

    Heap, you were wrong ☺

    • Sandra Oden June 1, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

      The word was yep, not heap..

  2. Daphine Lang June 1, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

    Tell me you did not do this for real!!!! It was a good thing your mother was not there, she would have made you stand there until you ate all 3 plates!

  3. Cheryl Hollingsworth June 1, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

    That was really funny! And yes, unfortunately, you were wrong. You said it yourself, your wife is the expert at these things. Maybe you should follow her lead next time. 🙂

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