Valentine Thoughts on the Unappreciated Pastor’s Wife

11 Feb

I have an amazing wife. She is committed to Christ. She loves the lost. She is beautiful.  When we met, I was a youth minister. I was also an idiot. It is only by God’s grace that such a mature woman would want to be my wife. When we started our journey in ministry many years ago, we had no idea what was in store for us.  Our first church was a nightmare. After a very short time and a very long deacons meeting I lay on our couch in tears. I had to resign. It wasn’t an easy decision. We had a four month old baby. But my wife supported me. We lived out of a Honda Civic after that. We crashed at my mom’s for a short time.  I preached here and there and we stayed in motels off and on.

I deeply considered getting out of the ministry. I would just get a job and raise a family. You know, teach Sunday School, help out with the church, be a deac…no,no. But I didn’t give up. And one of the main reasons I did not quit is my wife. The Lord would give her the words I needed at just the right time. She would always tell me “You ARE my favorite preacher, you know.”  She still tells me that. I guess that’s one of the best compliments a preacher can get from his wife. I am pretty sure that a lot of guys feel the same way about their wives that I do. I am convinced that my wife is a part of God’s grace to me. She keeps me going. She believes in me. She trusts me like no other. Valentine’s Day is around the corner guys. Let’s show them some appreciation. Here are some things about The Unappreciated Pastor’s Wife.

She is a great mom. She is serious about school work. I’m the dumb one. She has the brains. Our kids have never made anything less than an “A” on their report cards. I could never do what she does with those kids and their school work. She practices piano with my daughter. She pushes her, but not too much. She cheers at my son’s ball games. He had to have a talk with her this year. She was talking to the refs a little too loudly.  She prays with our kids every day. She is “Super Mom”. She is a taxi service. She is a doctor. She is a counselor. She is a great mom.

She left a lot to be my wife. She put her education on hold. She moved away from her family. (Say what you want about in-laws but it stinks to not have a baby sitter.) She knows that at any moment the church could have a business meeting and I could be looking for a job. But she has accepted that burden. We don’t own a house. She knows that there is no way we will be “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” She left a lot to be my wife.

She smiles even when she doesn’t want to. She knows more about people in the church than she wants to know. She gets her share of emails, criticisms, “advice”. She is privy to some of the unnecessary battles I have to face. She is aware that there are people that would love to see her husband gone. But she smiles. Not a fake smile. But a “This isn’t about you” smile. She understands that ministry is tough and that some of the meanest people you will ever meet, you meet at church. So, she smiles even when she doesn’t want to.

She loves ME. As I was typing this my office door opened. It was my wife. Sometimes she knocks, sometimes she doesn’t. She was standing there eating a piece of pita bread. She sat on my couch and just looked at me. A lot of people sit on that couch. They sit there to complain to me, give me advice, tell me their problems, etc. But she sits there because she just wants to talk to me. We live right beside the church. Sometimes she just walks over. She misses me. She wants to see me. She loves me. That’s her motive. As a pastor I’m in demand. I see a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. But she wants to see me simply because she loves me.

She lets me lead her. A little reluctantly, but she does. There are so many people that try to take her time away. They want her to be involved in civic clubs, meetings, various church functions, etc. But she has learned to be pretty stubborn in this. As we spoke a moment ago about some folks who were pushing her to be involved in a particular area she responded “I do what you and the Lord tell me to do.” I just laughed. I know what she meant. She knew that if I felt she was going a little overboard I would let her know. And she would take my advice. She is not a pushover by any means. But she does look to me for guidance. She lets me lead her.

She listens to my sermons. She really does. She sits up front. She even takes notes. She knows a lot about the Bible. I’m humbled that she listens to me so intently. In fact, she kind of gets upset when I’m not preaching. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. She complains if I’m out of the pulpit. She will usually volunteer for nursery or children’s church! After all, I am her favorite preacher! I’m not naïve enough to think that she really thinks I’m a good preacher. But she encourages me. She sets an example for the church to listen intently to the Word of God. I appreciate that about her. I couldn’t imagine being married to a preacher. It takes serious grace to endure a lifetime of the same preacher.

If you are a preacher you should be thankful for your wife. She has a tough job. I think it must be tougher than the job of the preacher. Appreciate your wife. Love her passionately. She endures a lot. I know that I would not be half the man I am without my wife. I’d be willing to bet you wouldn’t either.

2 Responses to “Valentine Thoughts on the Unappreciated Pastor’s Wife”

  1. Nate Holder February 11, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

    Well said.

  2. Crystal Campbell February 11, 2013 at 11:01 pm #

    Very sweet! She sounds like a catch! 🙂

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